A few nights ago I was catching up with an old friend over dinner. I hadn’t seen her in many years and used her visit to this area as an excuse to relive old times. As the conversation wore thin from not talking for many years we quickly moved to gossiping about people we know.
This one divorced that one, he’s single, she’s in jail, etc. Gossip, it’s a wonderful thing. After her second drink she asked why I wasn’t drinking and I explained that I no longer drink if driving. After telling her why we quickly came up with a half dozen people who had OUI’s this year.
It’s easy to do; you have a few drinks, feel pretty good so you get behind the wheel. After all, you’re relaxed and your inhibitions are low. You may have even taken and passed a portable breathalyzer type of apparatus. Before my accident many years ago I thought to myself I’m only a few miles from home.
Police breathalyzers are a very accurate means of measuring blood alcohol content (BAC) in people who are suspected of driving while intoxicated. The test requires blowing for a period of time until a chemical reaction takes place which indicates the BAC as a percentage.
Law enforcement breathalyzers rely on a chemical reaction of water and alcohol in the breath to create an electrical current which indicates BAC. As the alcohol passes through the device it is converted to acetic acid. The resulting chemicals are then analyzed electronically.
Consumer breathalyzers rely solely on electronics to report BAC. Air from the subject’s breath passes through a semiconductor and doesn’t rely at all on chemistry for results. Because of this, consumer models are far less accurate and reliable than those used by law enforcement.
During our dinner I learned that one of our mutual friends had tested himself with a portable unit prior to driving. During his court case he apparently tried using it as evidence to prove the police equipment was incorrect. He lost his case because of calibration requirements of chemical breathalyzers.
For me that brought up the question of how to pass a breathalyzer test. As a kid I remember rumors of chewing on pennies, hyperventilating, and swishing mouth wash in an effort of defeating the test. As I found out, there are a couple ways which may defeat the test.
Chewing pennies is purely a rumor. Back when pennies were made of copper people used to believe a free copper radical would react with the alcohol. Chewing a handful of pennies will just chip your teeth. There is some truth that hyperventilating may help. Emptying all the air in one’s lungs at a very fast rate may lower the alcohol in the lungs.
Swishing mouth wash prior to a breath test is just stupid. Most contains alcohol which will simply raise your reported percentage. There is, however, one chemical you can swallow prior to a test which may lower your reported results. Drinking a gallon of vinegar may reduce the reading. Alcohol and the vinegar will combine to form an ester which may not be detectable by most equipment.
It goes without saying the only way to truly pass is to not drink and drive. Unless you want to make yourself very ill there is no magic bullet. Equipment used by law enforcement is very accurate and will sense trace amounts of alcohol in your bloodstream. I learned my lesson in 1997 and own two sections of guardrail in Upstate New York to prove it.
(Jeromy Patriquin is the President of Laptop & Computer Repair, Inc. located at 509 Main St. in Gardner. You can text him directly at (978) 413-2840 or visit www.LocalComputerWiz.com.)